Thursday, May 9, 2013

HALFing it.

 
If you are looking for a happy, jolly flowers and sunshine post today, this is not it.

I am feeling frumpy, and fat and particularly un-motivated.

I feel like I am half-ing everything. 

I am halfway doing things at work.

I am halfway doing housework.

I am halfway in a marriage.

I am halfway in my weightloss efforts.

I am halfway putting effort into my spiritual life.

I am halfway LIVING.

I HATE FEELING LIKE THIS.

I want to be super motivated. 

I want to be CONSISTENT.

I want to be FREAKING AWESOME AT EVERYTHING. 

I know I cant be freaking awesome at everything but I want to excel at at least ONE thing for crying outloud.

I was feeling so positive and so good about myself last fall. 

This winter has sucked for my weight loss and so has this spring. 

Maybe its just ME who has sucked for my weight loss. UGH.

Yall I just need to vent.  I am so freaking stressed out on so many freaking levels. I just want to SCREAM.

I had stupid waffles for breakfast and was hungry again when I got to work and I was hungry ALL DAY LONG. SOOOO annoying. 

And I have been stress eating. And sleeping. And thinking.  And I just need a vacation. 

I am not finding satisfaction or happiness anywhere I feel like!  Do you guys ever feel like that? I mean I haven't even had a particularly bad day or anything its just all falling on me at once. 

Then I feel like a big whiney baby with first world problems complaining about my gold ring not being shiny enough.

Well I hope someone at least understands how I feel.  Maybe you are there now.  Maybe you have BEEN there and know how to get back.  I just need my mojo back.  Maybe I am at rock bottom? I haven't weighed myself in like a week, and it wasn't pretty.  The 30DS was basically a waste of time for me to eat the way I did this past week. And every night when I get home I just want chocolate and marshmallows. EFF!!!!

Ok so I am going to leave you with a picture of my happy place...to calm my nerves <3

 
 
 
 
Gatlinburg, TN
 
My favorite place on EARTH.
 
Ok so leave me a comment if you feel like you are halfing something today. 
 
Misery loves company.


9 comments:

  1. All I wanted today well this afternoon was a small mocha coconut frap from Starbucks. Yes they are half off abs my coworker even said he would go. Well manager said no so I didn't get one. Now all I want is a dern frap again. Bestie

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  2. I am sick of the yo-yo. I feel like I can be consistent for 1-2 weeks and then something always happens. I mean, for real, this time it was my surgery and stuff.... but in all reality if I hadn't almost died it would've just been something else to derail me, I'm sure! Haha I can totally relate to how you feel. At least you are basically maintaining. I am betting things are magnified this week because of the stressful high of getting your brother back but knowing it's short lived. :( (((hugs)))

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    1. thanks girl i think you are totally right about that...yes so sick of the yo yo. i hate to do a monday diet but i think i am just going to try to survive the weekend and then start back monday bein awesome lol

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  4. Oh honey I am so sorry that you are feeling this way but I promise you that WE ALL have either felt like that, feel like that, or will at some point and probably more than once. It's hard to do it all and no one is perfect. I often feel like that and it is impossible to be great at everything. Maybe sit down and re-evaluate what you are doing and how you can improve on it. I'm not sure if it's a time issue or you are just feeling blah about things but you have to find something that inspires you or motivated you. Maybe you need a vacation to reset find a new workout that you love and is fun. Just remember though that you are a lucky lucky girl. You have a great husband who loves you, a good job, great family, and not to mention you have lost a ton of weight and look HOT. Also please remember that with your blog you are doing great things. You continue to inspire people everyday. You show us the good and the bad and 99.9% you are cheerful and upbeat and smiling. It's ok to have these rough patches...we all do. I'm always here if you need to rant or vent. xoxoxo

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    1. aww thank you sheila you are soo so sweet. i do need to find me a good workout and you are so right i am so blessed. I am so suprised i can still inspire anyone LOL but you guys are just awesome!! i am so proud of you also..you have been rockin it woman!! xoxo

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  5. I am drinking a slim fast and eating a Vitamuffin w/ it. That kinda defeats the purpose, right?! Uggghhhh....

    I really understand where you are girl and I am sorry. It totally sucks when you get down in the dumps like this. Maybe a good sweaty workout would help? Or if not then a strong margarita?! Ha ha. Seriously though, you're still my motivation and you're awesome! :)

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    1. hahah you are too cute Katie! sounds yummy :) a rita and a workout probably would help things! hahah I am so suprised that I am still your motivation, you are SO presh! thank you for sticking with me!!

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